Gentlemen of Leisure
by Sadistic Shadow
Summary: [Alternate Universe] Oda's got a bone to pick.


_You've become a cruel part of me baby. I've found my empathy in your abuse._

Shinji took a long, exaggerated drag on the cigar he'd pilfered from his father's box; his legs were crossed, and his chin was held at an imperious angle. "Gentlemen," He announced, in that distinguished tone that he would so often adopt, "I do believe that it's just about time to call this meeting to order."

It was all that Hiroki could do, to keep from rolling his eyes.

Keita, who had hitherto been lounging in what could only be described as a 'psuedo-seductive' pose, snapped to attention. Yutaka, on the other hand, scarcely bothered looking up, too busy smothering his hotdog with mayonnaise— entirely oblivious to the look of horror that Keita was now sending him.

"Dude, that's disgusting," Hiroki vocalized the sentiment.

Shinji's vanity got the better of him, and in an effort to redirect their attention back onto him, cleared his throat loudly. "Our first order of business is to…" He trailed off, and it became apparent that something outside had caught his attention. And so it became imperative that the others turned around and looked, as well.

"What the fuck is Toshinori Oda doing on your front lawn?" Yutaka squawked.

"… You know, that's a very good question…"

This time, Hiroki did not restrain himself. "What'd you do _this_ time, Mimura? Must've been pretty serious, if he's actually condescended to come here."

"… Funny you should ask…"

Keita shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

Yutaka was still peering out of the window. His hands were clamped firmly over his mouth, so as to hold back his giggles. "Hey, guys. C'mere and look."

It was quite the sight to see, Oda scrunching up his frog-like face in evident disgust as his hand inched towards the door, only to drop back to his side and have the cycle begin anew.

Shinji issued forth a snort of amusement. "Does he think that he's going to spontaneously contract some kind of disease if he rings the bell, or something?"

Keita appeared mildly apprehensive. "Maybe he'll go away, if we pretend like we're not here?"

Another snort on Shinji's part, this one derisive. "Are you kidding me?" He sounded genuinely incredulous. "And miss this golden opportunity? I don't think so."

He was headed for the door before any of them could protest.

"… 'Sup?" Shinji cheerfully inquired, upon swinging it wide open.

Oda's pudgy form gave a quiver of rage. "You vulgar little ingrate!" He seethed. "What did you do with my violin?"

Shinji's smile grew impossibly wide. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Liar! I should have known that someone as absolutely vulgar as yourself wouldn't be below such vulgar trickery."

The smile was now little more than a leer. "What're you gonna' do about it, huh?"

"Spare me your vulgar theatrics, and hand it over, already. Although I really don't know why I'm bothering, as I'm sure it's already been sufficiently contaminated by your vulgar hands."

Shinji's expression turned sly. "Oh, yeah— " His voice lowered to a rich, sensuous baritone, and he threw in a guttural little groan, for good measure— "Me and that bow, lemme' tell you: tons. of. fun."

Oda looked positively scandalized, for once at a loss of what to say.

Shinji gave a peal of laughter, thumping the other boy hard on the back. "N'awh, just joshing with ya'… Should've seen the look on your face, though," He added, sounding almost thoughtful. "Just when I thought that it couldn't get any uglier, you go ahead and prove me wrong. Just goes to show, I guess."

Oda gave a sniff of disapproval. "Yes, just goes to show what a vulgar little ass you are."

Shinji's countenance sobered. "Trying to start something?" He coolly demanded. "… 'Cause I'll sure as hell finish this for you, if you'd like. Now, I'm telling you for the last damn time: I sure as shit don't have your stupid violin, alright? So fuck off, before I call the cops. I daresay that won't reflect well on your daddy, huh?"

Oda paled, the hidden implications in that sentence all too clear. Without another word, he composed himself as best he could, marching off with as much dignity as he could afford to muster.

Shinji turned back around to face his companions, the malignant air about him never once dissipating. "I can't, however, say the same of Keita," He murmured softly, even as the door blew shut behind him.

* * *

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A/N**: Alternate Universe. Inside Jokes. The Exies.  



End file.
